It's just me. The one you know, or the true me?

Sunday, May 29, 2005

I'm trying to take off the protective cover which I had on me for the longest time. It's time to do so. For years, I have been living within a protective cover which my family, friends had given me. A guide to fend me from the real reality and the outside world.

When I realised that it's time to give it a change, it was rather difficult to adapt to it in the beginning. For it was then when I'm exposed to the real reality of live, about how people live and about how sarcastic one can be. But I'm glad and was sorta relieved to experience these changes. At least, my protective cover had now turned into a mirror, with feedbacks for me to reflect on how I am as a person, a daughter, a sister, a friend. And when I heard things like I was bossy, demanding, naggy and all, I wasn't a bit upset. In fact, I'm happy. For only people who truly cares for you will tell you their most truthful thoughts.

However, there's always two sides of things. I begin to know more about the people whom I had once considered them as a true friend, but only to end up in disappointment. The reality makes me understand how human beings worked. When we are 'stuck' with a certain person/ or need to rely on a person for something, we will usually say good things about them. Sure, it's good when we are at that point of the relationship. But when changes were implemented in the relationship, the once heart- to- heart feelings were gone. And all seems to be measured by how much we can exploit off a certain person. Is it really this case? I wasn't that sure.

Have been thinking about some stuff and the way I 'operate'. And when I see people whom I consider them as 'true' friends, I would ask them if they had ever hated me for a moment of their life. I heard "NOs" as answer. But it wasn't what I had wish to hear, for I believe no matter how close friends two people may be, there will always be some emotions that we can never overcome with towards these people whom we really care.

Something I heard: The easiest way to open the door of a person's heart is to give an answer which can be greatly accepted to the person who asked the question!

Human relationships are too fragile. It should be taken with extra care and concern!

Just Someone posted at 1:24 AM

Sunday, May 15, 2005

I wasn't in the exact mood to blog. But I'm too bored and blogging will certainly take some time from my life now. Wished I have had this type of "endless hours" when school reopens.
Will be attending the Sentosa Briefing on the move to the Tourism Academy tomorrow at 9am. And it will be my first time then to the academy at Sentosa. Having mixed feelings about it. Rather excited, but once I think of the long journey there, I felt lousy.

I'll be in 2H01 this coming semester. And finally I get to be in the first few classes. Not that we are arranged by results, but at least I will be in the morning session this time instead? Hope so!
So far, I only know that Lynette will be in the same class as me. Wasn't that close to her during my first year. But who knows, we may become good friends. But I heard that she's very fun to be with. ( Fingers crossed. Haha)

I went out with Joey, Faith and Jocelyn yesterday to collect the Chef uniform thingy all the way at Bukit Panjang, Bangkit Road. The destination is so far from my place and I swear that I only need to be there once in these 18 years of living in Singapore. Travelling is too tiring. But I will be doing that for the next year. Travelling all the way to Sentosa and back again to my home in Tampines every weekday.

Just some entry were I ratter about things which happened. Logging off. And I just spent 12 minutes typing all this. Time passed real SLOW!

Just Someone posted at 6:32 PM

Monday, May 09, 2005

This is just another boring day. I've been staying at home for the past few days, practically doing nothing. And it's finally time that I think it's a boring task to be staying at home all day long doing nothing. Did't update for quite sometime. Nothing much happened in my un-interesting life. Shags.

Went to Malacca for a short trip a week ago with my family. Basically, there's nothing much in Malacca for city kids like us. It's just a state with some different culture. And their biggest shopping centre is only just the size of Tampines Mall + Century Square? So I didn't spent a lot in the end. Bought some unnecessary things back to add weight. Lolx.

Then on Labour Day, I bought the most expensive item for myself in this 18 years I've lived. An MP3 player. It's the Creative Movo Slim. 512 MB. Very pleased with it. Haha. I was comtemplating to buy it for like months before getting it. One main reason was I need a small player to accompany me on my journey to Sentosa during my 2nd year of Polytechnic life which starts in 2 weeks. Great! Holidays will finally be over.

And that was the main reason why I had to stayed at home these days for I've been spending over buget. It results in a budget deficit in my allowance budget. So i gotta stop this whole spending thingy.

Got hocked up on fanfic (http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/) ever since Joey introduced this website to me. And it's a perfectly right site for dreamers like me. There, people wrote stories on their favourite idol from Hongkong, Taiwan, Korea, Singapore etc. And I spent most of my time reading their stories during this school vacation. There are some good stories which the authors wrote. I wanted so much to write one, but I don't have a plot in mind. Lolx.

The other thing was the Hong Kong drama series filmed recently. Got to watch many good series ever since Mum got me SCV at home. I believed that the Hong Kong drama (TVB Series) craze will be back in Singapore soon. The "Korean" wind's fading away. Lolx. Got this predictment because there are many new faces showing up in the recent series. Some of favourites are Raymond Lam, Ron Ng, Myolie Wu and Michelle Yip. Love these new faces and their acting. Guess Myolie and Raymond did improved much. Just love Survivors' Law (By Raymond, Myolie, Sammuel and Bernice) and Truimph in the Skies ( By Francis Ng, Flora Chan, Joe Ma, Myolie Wu, Ron Ng, Michelle Yip etc). So people who are free out there should go get the Vcds to these 2 shows. It've got me crazy over Hong Kong drama series. And the best part was that I love the theme song. Lolx.

Getting gaga over those series. Back again to my quiet and monotonous life. And the dull me.

Just Someone posted at 1:43 PM

Monday, April 25, 2005

Went back to school to return the music cds which i have borrowed a week ago with sis. Then went to Mensa for lunch and back home again. Was practically doing nothing after that. Online reading stories.

And when I was walking out my room just now, I noticed the photgraphs on the wall. It's a double photo frame. The photos were taken years ago with my grandparents and my cousins. We were all so young then. And when I took a closer look, I realise that my grandpa (paternal side) had aged alot. My grandpa in the photo wasn't the one which I had memories of him. They seemed like two different people. Time do passed and people do aged.

I remembered that there was once when I woke up and started to ask myself how does my grandpa looks. I was stunned, filled with guilt, when I couldn't remember his face at the moment. Something which I thought I will never forget. And when I finally remembered how he look like, I was glad. To think I ever forget how my grandparents look like is a sin to me.

Perhaps it's high time that all of us should take note of such small details. Like taking photographs with our grandparents, with our families and friends whom we seldom get to meet. Memories may fade away one day, but photographs wouldn't just vanish if it was kept properly.Getting a little sentimental, but I'm really worried that one day I will forget someone whom was just too important to me at a certain phrase of my life. I don't want to lose these memories. For these are just the wealth which I may have all my life. Lolx.

And I guessed my sis was pissed off with me just now when I commented on her results. I mean, I know that it wasn't that she didn't put in her best for the papers. But I felt that a grade down just because of a lack of participation in class is not fair. Not that she didn't do well, I felt that she did rather well. But I don't understand why she don't bother to achieve full participation marks for her lessons. Speaking out in class ain't something bad. She had the confidence of doing so. I knew it. But I am puzzled by why she refuses to do so.

But I had always envied my sis, for being able to achieve good and constant results. Mum and Dad were happy and proud of her. Me too, despite the fact that she always says that I am constantly scolding her. Hai~ Something must be wrong with me. But I can't find the cause of it. I need medicine which can change me of what I wasn't proud of myself. Practically, everything.

Just Someone posted at 3:06 PM

Thursday, April 07, 2005

I wanted so much to blog today, think I have some things in mind which I wanna talk about.
Stayed at home the whole day, practically doing nothing. But I heard good news in the evening from Weilin, she told me that Junyuan Choir got their bronze for SYF...
I was glad, happy and perhaps, overwhelmed.

It has been also 2 years since I participate as a part of Junyuan Choir for SYF. It was on the 22nd July 2003. Perhaps, it will just be a day that I will never ever forget. It is too difficult to forget about it. Anyway, when we ( the seniors) left choir, it was filled with hope and excitement for the next SYF which they will faced 2 years later (the SYF now). Despite the many failures which we have as choir, we always thought that they have the potential to fly higher and get silver for this current SYF. Of course, that's with Mr. Toh as the instructor.

When he left, it was like all hopes are dashed and gone forever. I don't blame him for leaving us, it was just that his leaving was not something which I or any other choir member had expected. And when Junyuan got a new instructor and the never-ending complaints by the members, I thought that it was just a dead end. Something which we will not be proud of ever again. But these juniors had proven it, that they have had the ability to do it. Though they didn't reach a higher destination, I was glad that at least they got a bronze. Proving themselves to people who had despite us in Junyuan choirs all these years. Yes, there were people like this. But with no further elaboration from me.

I always believe in the special bond which ties many people from different families, with different thinking together. And it's always a different thing to be seeing that happened. Just like the days when I and the other choir members practiced together with Mr. Toh and Ms. Tay and all our efforts. A regret was that we didn't pose for a photo together before the performance. Something which i should have insist but i didn't. And the days which i spent with my class in secondary school. The bond which 4e3 had. Everything.

Guess i'm geting too way off these. Logging off now. Bye.

P.S. I was glad and happy, for everyone in choir and Mr. Toh, for his other choirs who've got GOLD.

Just Someone posted at 11:25 PM

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Hi! Nothing much to update about my life. Just slacking and i'm really bored la. But what to do, i'm not intending to look for full-time jobs since i got the tuition job at Kumon. Hai~

And i'm damm damm bored at home. Wanted so much to rent the "Ba Li Lian Ren' VCDs to watch, but its' all rented out. So i have to wait and i dislike doing so. Then i spent almost 1/2 hour at the Video shop, but either i dun like/watch the show before, or the shows i wanted to watch are all rented out. Such bad luck i've got today.

So i came home to watch tv programmes which i wasn't that interested in. Cousin Shuting came, chat, and we watch some other programme while she attempts to do some cross-stitch thingy for her friend.

And after hours sitted in front of the Tv, i moved myself to be seated in front of the computer to stone. Maybe i should just go to the library tomorrow. Supposed to go out with Huileng but she wasn't free. Hai~ And i wanted so much to go to Taiwan this holiday. Guess it's just that i would be getting to do so. Signing off now.

Just Someone posted at 10:40 PM

Monday, March 28, 2005

Hi! I'm back to blogging. Dun ask me why i've returned after the so many months break, perhaps I've found a new perspective of writing. But since this blog is dead for so long, i doubt that there will not be anyone reading it... so. it's my little diaryland again. lolx.

Well, i just finished my last paper this morning at 11.30 am and it marks the end of my Year 1 life in Temasek Polytechnic. I should do a little evaluation about this Year 1 life, shouldn't I?

Starting now:

I forget the exact date when i first knew TB055, think it should be on the 14th June. With 55, life's fun and interesting. get to know many ppl, whom i seriously consider them as friends. Started out with an initial clique of 7 (Siying, Serene, Jiahui, Joey, Faith, Me, Peiwen) and you all should know what girls usually do! Yep! We chat, share and gossip. I remember hearing Serene saying something like it may because that we don't know each other much that we are so willing to share our past. I didn't, neither did Faith. Cause she knows my past and i knew hers too! With the clique, i'm really happy. They were like always there for me to encounter problems with me. And they always manage to make me smile. But somethings happened, Peiwen left and Jocelyn joined us. Though it was sorta a regret to me, i'm glad to have jocelyn joining us. Now, let me tell you all about these friends.

Siying: She's a typical sa-da-jie type. She's a very straightforward person, willing to share and frank. That's what i like about friends. Being frank with each other. And i always thought that my closer friends are usually those who are older then me. Lolx

Jiahui: Frankly speaking, i used to hate her during the first few days of school. But after being with her for a whole semester, i found her a very close-to-heart friend. Like Siying, she's open in sharing her thought and Jiahui's very caring and helpful. A person who treats everyone so sincerely. A person whom i consider a close friend.

Joey: She's a very helpful, friendly and interesting person. With her, I'll never feel bored. It's like there will always be things for us to talk about. This first year was rather hard for her, someone made her life bad. And i hate that person for that. Bleh! But she was well and happy again now, that's something which i'm glad. A girl who preserves, Jia you!

Serene: Honestly, among the seven of us, i sesldom share my thoughts with Serene, this may be because we are in different project groups and that Serene's usually with Joey, Jiahui and Siying. But nevertheless, i'll always remember Serene as one with a loving smile and a very nice personality. Cool girl in black. lolx

Faith: Someone whom i've known since sec.1. We may not be the best of friends, but we are those type who will just be standing silently there for each other. Faith's a quiet girl, but she can be fun and cheerful. I always remember the days with her at Junyuan library during our Sec 2 days.

Peiwen: A regret that i couldn't get to know her better. She sorta left our clique after august. Dun ask me why, i dun know the details. But i've always found Peiwen someone with a warm personality. She's a fun and interesting pal. And she do write her own lyrics. I always envy her for that. For being outspoken and ready to speak out.

Jocelyn: Think iI'm the one who intro her to our clique. A very interesting and cute girl. She's frank and direct and a very good co-worker to work with. Enjoy her company, esp during projects.

Oh, then Semester one ended on the 8th October. Practically, our whole class went to the Seoul Garden at TM for a class gathering. It was fun. I enjoyed it. Then i went to Expo for the Robinson warehouse sale with Siying, Jocelyn and another fun-loving classmate, Michelle.

Didn't get to meet the girls for the outing with Siying planned during the hols. I was quite upset about it.

But i got to know more about Huileng (my sec school classmate), cause we usually go swimming togehter. A sports that i took up during my first semester hols. We shopped around, chatted, gossiped and planned a rather successful class gathering at Ms Teo's (aka Mrs Low) place. (Not going into details. But Ms Teo is pregant with a baby girl, and she's due in June). Oh, and i went to Shanghai and kuala Lumpur during the hols too!

Then Semester 2 started on the 6th December. Even had the SJCC Dinner and Dance that night. It was so fun and everyone's high! lolx. Reached home after midnight that day, but i enjoyed myself with all the jokes by justin and Serene. lolx. Semester 2 was alright, just packed and busy. Getting non-course related subject (except TTOpns this semester) but i rather have these business related subject. And i took law for my CDs.

Form a new project group with Zee, Suliani, Nadia, Sherrie ( my 55 classmates), Celine ( a guitar friend) and Cindy gan ( my sec sch classmate). I was the leader. Something which i sorta regret doing. I dunno if i should classified myself as an autocratic leader, cause i dun think i ain't one but certainly not subordinate-centered. So POM.

I remember scolding them aand forcing them to meet deadline, but i wasn't realxing myself either. I didn't have a good night sleep since the beginning of semester 2, sleeping after 1 a.m every night. Anyway, it's already over and we've got quite good results for our project. So it's still worthwhile. And i get the chance to chitchat and gossip with Cindy, something which we usually do in sec.4 days. It's good to be reviewing my memories. And i turned 18 on 3rd March. And i felt so old suddenly, cause i was going down the memory lane during the few weeks. A sign of being old. Lolx.

Oh, and during this semester, i get to add one name in my close friend list. That's celine. She's so fun to be with. And she has always so many new things to share. Like walking home with her, practically, she was walking me home. haha. but when we shared our thoughts, we had many things in common. Which is actually good! Then i had my exams and all...

And there i am, after 40 odd mintues of typing, i finished updating about my first year life. Although i didn't write much about semester 2.

Looking forward to meeting my friends. I miss then all. A friend-oriented person, ain't I?

Just Someone posted at 6:03 PM